Author: rakheekissoon

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” (John A. Shedd)

I feel myself changing. I don’t know who I’m going to become or how I’m going to get there. All I know is the next step I must take.
Anxiety and fear take turns in my heart, but just like a butterfly cannot stuff its wings back into its chrysalis, I can’t go back.
Always keep moving forward, my friends, no matter how scary. Change will happen. It is already happening. We cannot stop it. Our wings are aching to emerge if we let them. Our anchors are made to be lifted so that we can venture into the mighty ocean. The tides may challenge us, but we cannot stop them any more than we can halt the wind. We can become masters of our sails and use the wind and tide to take us where we wish to go.

I saw this lovely piece of writing shared by my friend, Roberta, this morning. It said that your body knows when your past trauma is affecting your present. It knows when you’re grieving. It’s your intuitive guidance system.

What if you’re not lazy or lacking direction? What if you’re just tired? What if your past wounds are getting too heavy? What if your avoidance is your inner scream for peace, but you don’t know how to find it.

Listen to your body.
When something feels uncomfortable, don’t push it away. Observe the thoughts that accompany the discomfort. Sit with it and breathe. Acknowledge your pain like a long lost friend. Say, “I see you. I honor you. But now it’s time for me to move on.” And let it flow away gently.

‘No’ is an important word. It’s how we form necessary boundaries.
For many of us, when we were growing up, we weren’t allowed to say no. It was seen as rude and disrespectful, and, as such, we grew up without learning how to set boundaries allowing everyone to get a piece of us until we’re worn out and exhausted.
‘No’ is not disrespectful, it is self-respect. It is not allowing people into a space where you are uncomfortable. It is understanding when you cannot keep going.
Even more than that, it is important to also learn how to say no to yourself.
Most of us are very aware of our unhealthy habits and toxic cycles. We know when we need to stop and yet we continue with damaging behaviors.
If you’re trying to eat healthier, say no to yourself when you’re craving unhealthy food.
If you’re trying to break a pattern of substance abuse, say no when you start convincing yourself that it’s okay to have just one more.
If you’re moving on from someone, so no to yourself when you want to message, call, or meet that person.
If you’re working on a project, say no to yourself when you are tempted to relax or have fun during the time allotted for work.
Obviously, I’m not going to tell you what your homework is because you’ll probably tell me no. 😊
You know what you need to do, my friends.
Set those boundaries – with self and others.

Were you ever very happy but didn’t trust it?

It is because the cycles of your life have shown you that happiness does not last, and so, you treat great happiness with great distrust, waiting for the feeling to abandon you.

Here’s the thing – happiness cannot last forever. The nature of the emotion is such that even if it lasts a long time, the thrill of it fades and it doesn’t feel quite as fun anymore. The comforting second part of this truth is that sadness also does not last forever. It’s like an unwritten law of life that emotions rise and fall in turn. Like the colors on a rainbow each feeling has a space, making the entirety magical and beautiful.

Venture into each feeling knowing that the feeling is temporary and understanding that this is what makes it extra special. Instead of looking at happiness with distrust, treasure it. Devour that moment with complete abandon understanding that you have only that one moment to enjoy that one moment.

Somewhere in this rests the secret to living.

This year started with several people I know feeling heartbroken.

Unfortunately, we cannot outrun our pain because the more we avoid it, the bigger it becomes, until it overwhelms our entire world. We need to feel the bad feels until they are ready to recede.

But just because it hurts right now, doesn’t mean that it will hurt forever. Just because one person broke your heart, doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who love you completely.

So, today, I’m resharing one of my poems. Share it with someone you want to reach out to and let them know that they’re not alone. Let them know that someone cares.

Cry, my friend, upon my shoulder

Let your pain rain on me,

I’m not afraid of your darkness

Let me in, let me see.

You huddle inwards, conceal your shards

As if I know not what you hide,

As if the pain that cuts your soul

Is not the same I have inside.